Gnawfish

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Posted by Adam On 08/26/09 At 10:21 AM

What? I mean... WHAT?

I heard on Tuesday morning that the Governor of South Carolina, whom had apparently been missing since last Thursday, was found hiking in the mountains. What? Missing? I thought it strange for such an important member of our society to just take themselves off the grid without telling anyone (not even his wife and sons on Father's Day weekend). Then i thought, what a strange thing for ANY person to do that. You never hear about some business clerk shooting off to the woods for a week without telling anyone. He would be fired from him job and/or the police would be out looking for him.

Then I heard this morning that he was not hiking in the mountains, but took some alone time down in Argentina. What? I mean, really? You flew down to Argentina by yourself to look around? Really.

I just went to CNN and watched this. WHAT? Holy God.

Let's just consider the level of stupid this is. Having an affair when you are the governor of a state is dumb. But it certainly isn't unprecedented. Hell, if you told me that Elliot Spitzer was buying time with some madams in Jersey, I would have said you were crazy. But THIS dumbass gets on a plane on a THURSDAY and heads down to SOUTH F'ING AMERICA and stays for 5 or 6 days, doesn't tell ANYONE ANYTHING, and does so over Father's Day weekend. Didn't think maybe his wife or kids would think, 'HMM, its F'ing FATHER's Day, where the hell is Dad?' Or didn't think someone on his staff might think 'Wow, i haven't seen the highest ranking member of the F'ing government of South Carolina for the better part of a week, should we call the police?'

Good job soon to be ex-Governor. You truly are the dumbest person in South Carolina. And given the number of confederate flags i saw the last time i was down there, that is saying something.

Posted by Adam On 06/24/09 At 06:01 AM

Iran So Far Away

Oh William Kristol. Will you ever be right? In a blog entry that echoed his comments on Fox News Sunday (which echoed every conservative's view almost exactly on the subject) my favorite neocon, Billy Kristol, compared the American President to Neville Chamberlain. He feels that Obama has not declared his solidarity with the Iranian people.

I wonder if it has occurred to Bill that if the President did that, he would forcibly interject the United States into the discussion and muddy the waters? Can you imagine a bigger Christmas present for Amadinejad? He would paint the protesters today as pro American/anti-Iranian and the very strong momentum and large scale outrage within Iran would all be for naught. The issue would be spun as "U.S. Imperialism" or even worse "U.S. election meddling".

I love Bill's fake outrage. When you watch him on TV, you get the feeling that he doesn't believe he's saying the things he is sometimes.

Posted by Adam On 06/15/09 At 09:22 AM

Proud of at Least One American

Ever since President Obama has taken office, I feel a certain sense of calm. He is making reasoned, pragmatic decisions based on facts and not ideology. Why the left is hammering him for doing so i find to be disappointing. Remember liberals, we are the smart ones. Let's not pull a Bush and let our gut tell us what to do. We have to remember that we can be right on an issue and wrong on a policy. Obama gets it and it is truly calming to my existential angst.

Not all the time, but sometimes he needs to hammer the living hell out of his critics. Such is the case with the craziness about Guantanamo. He's closing the base. He said he would from the beginning (and so did McCain by the way). There are two groups of people that Obama has to open up a can of whoop-ass on to expose as ignorant morons.

First are those people who want to keep the base open. Really? I haven't heard one coherent argument in support of this. Even if you are pro torture, torturing them there is no different than here. Anything else? I'm really serious.

Ok, those people are a minority and maybe not representative of America. However the majority of Americans don't want detainees in the U.S. What? Why? Again, I have not heard one sane argument. Are people THIS AFRAID of these scary individuals? Since when have the American people been so spineless?

And what exactly are they thinking these detainees are going to do? It's not like these people are being released. They are going to super max prisons!!! So the majority of Americans are so afraid, they don't even want these people going to prisons in the United States? Again, I'm really serious. What's the argument they're making?

Are our prisons not able to hold people? Maybe that's the problem.

Posted by Adam On 05/22/09 At 01:01 AM

When Pigs Attack, You'll Probably Be Just Fine

If you listen to the media or God love him Joe Biden, there's not going to be much left 28 days later.

But what have we really learned so far? Swine flu seems to be spreading, but not a lot of people seem to be dying. In fact, the World Health Organization has downgraded the number of deaths in Mexico from 168 to 16. That's a big difference seeing how we were all so afraid of swine flu (aka the H1N1 virus) primarily BECAUSE OF the mortality rate in Mexico.

There has been one confirmed death of swine virus in America - a Mexican toddler that was visiting the U.S. Any death is a tragedy, but as far as the flu goes, this one has not yet reached the deadliness of the seasonal flu. On average, 200,000 Americans are hospitalized with the seasonal flu every year and 36,000 die (Source). So if last week was an average week, close to 700 people died of the seasonal flu, 1 of the swine flu.

We don't have a large enough sample size to know if swine flu is more likely to kill you once you contract it than the seasonal flu. Given the low incidents and initial mortality rates though, one thing is becoming clear at this point. Statistically you are MUCH more likely to die today from seasonal flu than from swine flu. And probably more likely to die in a car wreck than either of those.

Posted by Adam On 05/01/09 At 11:45 AM

Do As I Say, Not As I Do (But If You Did, You Would Be Amazed at the Effectiveness)

Dear America's Enemies:

We didn't torture you. We just did the following:

1. Waterboarding
2. Walling
3. Sleep deprivation
4. Nudity
5. Insects
6. Slaps
7. Water dousing
8. Food deprivation
9. Cramped confinement

So if you capture any of our people, please don't torture. But as we keep stating repeatedly, the things that we did to you that wasn't torture WORK REALLY WELL.

Yours Truly,
Right Wing Crackpots

p.s. We like our new pro-torture, anti-soldier, pro-secession, anti-government, anti-intellectual, Xenophobic platform. We are hoping the same 15% of the country will maybe vote 4 or 5 times for us. Fingers crossed.

Posted by Adam On 04/21/09 At 01:54 PM

Not So Fast, You're Not So Sovereign

Just in case you thought Sarah Palin only issued press releases denouncing her grandchild's baby daddy, i'm afraid i have to say it ain't so.

In this brief written press release, the Governor first declares that it is up to Alaska to protect the entire United States from rogue missile attacks. She then goes on to declare that Alaska is a "sovereign state of the United States". Umm...no. It is not. I realize that there are quite a few people in Alaska that would like Alaska to be sovereign (I heard her husband used to be in this camp) but Alaska is most certainly not a sovereign state. It is however, a state. So that part is correct.

Why do people on the left attack Sarah Palin so much? Because she's a crazy governor. And given the behavior of governors lately, that is saying something. Thanks for playing.

Posted by Adam On 04/08/09 At 12:43 AM

Cramer Vs. Cramer Vs. Stewart

I watched the Jim Cramer/Jon Stewart prize fight the other day in utter amazement.

Jon Stewart seemed to go beyond blaming Cramer for dishonest reporting (a bit of a stretch given his proof). He seemed to blame Cramer (and by extension financial reporting) for the entire economic downturn. People lost money and therefore people who are reporting on financial matters must be to blame. What?

Humanity, for all its complexities, are actually remarkably simple social creatures. Markets are social institutions and are driven by said simple social creatures and bring out two basic emotions. Fear and greed. I would add that financial networks play into these two emotions. In good times, they stress good news (greed). In bad times, they stress bad news (fear). Nobody will watch shows that stress bad news when the news is not bad. And no one will watch shows that stress good news when the news is not good. Blame the network's advertisers for wanting ratings. Or blame the people who watch the show who want what they want when they want it. To just blame the financial reporters (many of whom actually DID have reports about problems leading up to the downturn) is just dumb. Think I'm wrong? When was the first time you heard the term 'real estate bubble'. I heard it at least 5 years ago.

The system is so sick because the system was let to get sick. Its simple. If we want true capitalism, limit regulation the way we have done the past 10 years. But then live with the horrible results that would come while letting banks fail. There's no doubt that the free market blowhards are correct. The market would eventually correct itself. But it would be brutal for most Americans. The suffering during that correction would be monumental. I'd prefer we regulate better and have a government assisted transition out of these situations. If you want to call it socialism, fine by me. Unless you have seven digits spread across multiple FDIC insured banks, you should be fine with it too.

And we're not out of this yet. Get over AIG and the bonuses and let Obama announce his big bank bailout plan already. It's all this public outrage that is holding it up. And until it's fixed, we will continue to have economic uncertainty.

If we want the simple social creature to go back to feeling greed, it has to give up on fear. But more importantly, it has to give up on anger.

Posted by Adam On 03/18/09 At 12:31 PM

Uh Oh Elephants

Massive increases in government domestic spending and tax increases for the nations rich?

Politics is a pendulum. The harder it is pulled right, the harder it swings back left. In the mean time, the nation's Republicans seem to be having a collective brain aneurysm.

Or maybe it was just Bobby Jindal. Oh Bobby... Such a promising career. Too bad you said such stupid, hypocritical things all the while sounding like Kenneth from 30 Rock.

RIP Bobby Jindal's political career. 1996-2009.
He probably won't be missed.

Posted by Adam On 02/26/09 At 01:49 PM

Good Luck With All That

A number of Republican governors are refusing some of the payments of the stimulus package. So, fresh off their recent losses, the Republican strategy going forward seems to be some strange mix of ideology and pride? Hmm, I wonder if voters will approve of their governors refusing money.

My favorite response from the Democratic Governors are "They don't want? We'll take it." He he.

You got to hand it to them though. The Republicans really are ferociously going after that 25-30% of people out there who agree with their thinking and would vote for them anyway.

Posted by Adam On 02/22/09 At 03:15 PM

GHOPE

Posted by Adam On 01/22/09 At 10:01 PM

Message to America: Get Off His Ass Already!

Not yet President Obama has been President now for about negative 33 days and people are all already up in his mug about a bunch of complete bullpoop. I mean people are actually and genuinely outraged at Obama for:

1. Not having enough Southerners in his cabinet.
My response: Really? Is that your nitpick? Southerners? Are the Southerners feeling like they're being discriminated against by the black guy? Really? And haven't Southerners controlled the country more or less since like 1976? Get over yourselves (hey wait, I'm a Southerner. I have to get over myself).

2. His kids going to a private school
My response: Really? You care that much about his kids? Or do you feel like the self-made, son of a single mom who worked his way through school working hard for everything he ever got is an elitist? Either way, you're an idiot.

3. He HAS to get his Puppy from a Shelter
My response: Really? You're thinking about what dog he's going to get? Why not be more worried about the fact he needs more Southerners in his cabinet. At least then i'd believe you have a brain in your head.

4. He has to be more open about the Gov of Illionois Scandel:
My response: Really? He has to be more open about the thing he's not at all implicated in or had anything to do with? Didn't the Gov call Obama an MF'er for not playing ball? Stop being an idiot.

5. Having a pastor at his inauguration that is against abortion and gay marriage.
My response: Really? How many pastors do you know that are down with abortion and gay marriage and aren't associated with the Church of the Green Hippie Crystal? None. I guess you're mad that he has a pastor at his inauguration. Get over it.

I don't think you can overstate how badly the last administration has left the state of affairs. Give Obama some time and maybe he can stop everyone in America from losing their job and the country getting purchased in a fire sale by some prince in Dubai. Get off his ass about the other stuff.

Posted by Adam On 12/18/08 At 05:29 PM

Pay to Play FTW

Who'd a guessed it. The guy who married into Chicago machine politics and has the biggest "I'm hiding something" haircut of all time is corrupt?

Don't you seriously get the idea that everyone involved in politics in Illinois is corrupt except for Barrack Obama? The fact that Obama only had ties to only Tony Rezko and not any gangsters or former governors (most of whom are in jail) is kind of remarkable.

Posted by Adam On 12/11/08 At 10:33 PM

A Party for Adults

When the going gets tough, the Democrats pull together and act like adults. That is the encouraging news today when the Democrats voted to let Joe Lieberman keep his committee chairmanship.

It really is remarkable if you think about it though. A political party not 'playing politics' and stooping to the lowest common denominator. Quite to the contrary. By behaving like adults and ACTUALLY reaching out to the other side (or at least those who don't subscribe to their own exact orthodoxy) the Democrats are showing that they are the bigger party.

Lieberman rightly credited Obama for making this happen. How about that? Democrats off on the right foot!

Posted by Adam On 11/18/08 At 09:12 PM